


Sad Carnival

by Chxntzl



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Denial of Feelings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-03-31 23:41:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13985799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chxntzl/pseuds/Chxntzl
Summary: Veronica is so happy around Betty, but you can't blame her.Betty is beatiful, sweet, kind hearted, genuine, all paste color and also smart. And she makes her feel warm inside, safe, she's just like home; and she've never felt like this before. So she thinks that Betty is the one.V thinks that she could actually have a chance to be more than a friend for Betty.But that thought disappears when she finds Betty with someone else at the carnival.ORV is in love with B, but she doesn't want to force herHer heart breaks when she sees B with Jughead at the carnival





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so.  
> This is an idea I had, it is kinda inspired in something that happened to me. Its funny, because I was sad and mad when it happened, but I immediately started thinking on a Beronica fic lol  
> Anyway, I hope you guys like this and please remember that English is not my main language, so sorry for the mistakes. 
> 
> p.d. I suck with plots, sorry  
> p.d 2 I swear I will update "The other side of the HBIC" soon

It’s fucked up.

It really is, because I really thought I was getting closer to Betty, I really thought I had a chance. But then all I know it’s that B and I agreed to go together to the carnival and then I was waiting in the line to get popcorn for the both of us and then, when I’m looking for her, I see her with Jughead. After all that stupid wannabe is good at something: carnival games. He won a giant fucking teddy bear for Betty and she looks like she just met Jude Blum and she gave B her autograph and then I’m so mad with myself for being so stupid and thinking that someone so good and genuine and sweet as Betty would even think about me as more than a friend that I just want to go home and cry.   

Apparently I didn’t have a chance.

But I can’t go home.

Betty was the only good thing in my life. At home everything was so messed up. Dad being a shameless and dangerous criminal and Mom supporting him. Goddamn it, even Smithers was gone.

Everything, since I saw B and Jughead together, is so blurry. I remember walking, just walking. Then I was on someone’s house, crying. I remember alcohol, tears, sloppy rough kisses and red hair.

 

* * *

 

I’m on school, on my locker.

I’m looking for Betty on the crowded hall, and I see her. I see that perfect blonde bouncing ponytail at the end of the hall.  

“Betty!” I just want to reach her, I just want to be with her, I just want to hug her and feel that vanilla smell hitting my nostrils, making me feel warm inside, making me feel safe, making me feel _home_.

But she doesn’t hear me.

I start running, but the crowd just makes it harder. I run faster and faster, but B just seems to be more distant than before. 

“Let me go!” I’m yelling, but the crowd is so loud.

 But she turns back, she locks eyes with me. “Betty! I’m here!” I wave at her, so she comes to help me.

But she doesn’t.

And the crowd is bigger and louder, they push me away from her.

“No! Let me go!” Why didn’t she help me? She saw me, I needed her help and she just laid her eyes on me and then kept walking.

And then I wake up. It was just a nightmare.

I’m out of breath, the air feels so heavy, and the sun is so bright, my head is killing me. I blink a couple of times and suddenly I don’t know where I’m. I’m not in my room, not in my bed. But I’m wearing the same clothes that I had yesterday. Where am I?

 Then I feel someone next to me, on the bed.

I feel an arm around me and someone’s breathe on the back of my neck.

I turn my body to look who was I sleeping with.

I swear I gasped when I saw him.

Archie.

Did I really come here last night, crying because my crush doesn’t like me, and ended up sleeping with Archie, one of the best guys I’ve ever met, who’ll probably expect something else than this one night stand that shouldn’t had happened. Like if Betty not liking me back wasn’t enough, now I’ll probably lose one of the only real and good friendships that I’ve ever had.

“Morning, Ronnie.” I whimpered, I was too caught up with my thoughts.

“Hey, Arch.” He squeezes his eyes and yawns. I get up and start to get my things so I can leave as soon as possible.

“Hey, what are you doing V?” He sits on the edge on his bed. He looks actually confused.

 “I’m really sorry. I can’t stay here, I shouldn’t even have come in the first place, it was stupid” I can’t even look at him.

He gets up and comes close to me, he hugs me and says “Hey, It’s okay Veronica. I get it, you were sad and upset and vulnerable, but you know I won’t tell Betty. You know you can always talk t-”

Now I’m confused.

I break the hug and look at him “Wait, what? Talk?”

“Yeah, you can always talk to me.” He says, as if it was the most normal thing in the world

“So… We just talked? Nothing happened?”

“No, nothing happened. ”

I sigh, maybe too dramatically, and hug him “Thanks God. No offense.”

He chuckles.

Right now, it’s really good that Archie is a hugger, because this hugs calms me. It’s warm and tight, but not suffocating.

“I wouldn’t do that to a girl on that condition. Sad, vulnerable _and drunk_ ” He says. He laughs a bit, and separates enough so he can look at me “And no offense, but I’m not interested. Besides, it’s so obvious that you love Betty than even I can see it.”

“I really love her, Arch.” My head is resting on his chest, the warm of his body relaxing me. “And I know that she loves me, but I’m just not so sure if she loves me in the same way that I love her.”

“How can you be so sure? I’m telling you, I’ve known Betty my whole life and I’ve never seen her so happy until she met you. You’re really important to her.” He caresses my back “After all, you two guys are B and V for something, right?”

“Yeah, I guess.” I said with a sad smile.

“C’mon V, smile. Let’s have breakfast at Pop’s, on me” He grabs a wrinkled, not so clean, t-shirt from the floor and puts it on.

“Okay.” I chuckle, while he looks for his pants and shoes.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating, it's just that as I always say, school takes the most of my time and I haven't been in the greatest moment lately, I can't find my inspiration and that sucks.
> 
> Anyways, I wasn't sure if I should write more chapters, but I did, so here it is. This chapter is like 2 times longer than the previous, I hope that makes it up for the wait. I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> p.d. Sorry if it sucks and english is not my main language so forgive me for the mistakes.

Surprisingly I arrive home with a smile on my face.

Archie really knows how to make things better after all.

I close the door and immediately hear mom “Ronnie? Is that you?”

“Yes mom, it’s me.” I walk to the living room where I find her seated on the table with a bunch of papers all over the place. I’m just about to ask her what is she doing, but I don’t, after realizing that she’s probably checking some contract or papers of another land or property that Lodge Industries is going to, possibly, own very soon. That thought makes me sick. I’m so done with Industries Lodge, I’m done with Daddy and all of his “business” and I’m so so _so_ done with mom supporting all of this. I hold an annoyed sigh.

If I didn’t have a headache because of the hangover, is now slowly building in the back of my head. I was sort of okay thanks to Archie and it’s really impressive how it changed so fast thanks to mom and dad. 

“Where were you, Veronica? We were really worried about you.” Says mom while she puts down the papers she was reading and looks me dead on the eye “Why didn’t you come home last night?” She’ now giving me that disapproving look.

I’m definitely not on the mood to talk about what happened last night, so I choose to lie.

“Sorry mom, is just that the carnival was so good and I was having such a good time with Betty that we had a little sleepover and with all the fun I forgot to tell you” A white lie, right?

“And you couldn’t even answer your phone? Because I called you several times last night, Veronica.” She looks kind of upset but I try to think of something to say, something that’ll calm her a little bit.

“My phone died” Well, that’s no lie. My phone did die last night.

She doesn’t look like she’s buying it but doesn’t ask more questions “Okay.” She keeps reading the papers on the table “Lunch will be ready soon”

“Okay. Thanks mom” I leave the living room and go upstairs to take a shower.

I go to my bedroom and plug my phone to check it.

While I’m looking for clothes and a towel my phone rings and rings and rings with all the unread notifications, some missed calls and some texts. A particular name calls my attention.

_Betty._

I have at least thirteen missed calls and seven texts from her. Suddenly my heart is beating faster.

Ten of the missed calls are from yesterday, all at different hours, like is she was constantly checking on me. That thought makes me smile.

I read the texts.

 ** _B: V, Where are you?_** **_I can’t find you_** _._ 5:23 pm, Yesterday.

 ** _B: Ronnie, please answer my calls._** 5:46 pm, Yesterday.

 ** _B: V, please. I’m worried._** 6:20 pm, Yesterday.

 ** _B: Veronica, where are you? I just saw Andre and he’s looking for you_** 6:58 pm, Yesterday.

I feel kind of guilty for leaving that way, without telling her.

 ** _B: Ronnie, it’s really late. Please call me back._** 7:10 pm, Yesterday.

 ** _B: V, I’m home. I hope you’re too, I’ve asked everyone but no one knows where you are. Your dad will probably kill Andre, no joke._** 7:32 pm, Yesterday.

 ** _B: Seriously, V? You could’ve told me you were staying at Archie’s. Please call me back._** 9:22 am, Today.

I start typing an “I’m safe” and an incoming call appears on the screen. Betty it reads, with a photo of the both of us. It’s a really pretty picture; she looks especially gorgeous in it.

I answer after a couple of rings “Hello?”

“Hi, V.” I don’t know if I’m being dramatic or just miss her, but her voice is so soft that’s like a balm for my soul, it makes feel better even when she was the one who made me feel bad at first place.

“Hey, B.” I say in a whisper.

“So, where are you? Are you okay? I was really worried last night, did you see my texts?” I’m not even paying attention to what she’s saying; I’m listening to her voice. I lie on my bed, close my eyes and let her soft sweet voice heal me “I called you last night and this morning I saw you leaving Archie’s house, with him. Did something happen?” She sounds genuinely worried “Why did you leave the carnival?” and a little hurt. Now I’m feeling really guilty, I’m a shitty friend.

It takes me a couple of seconds to process all she just said.

I’m there, lying on my bed, listing facts.

_Fact #1: She was worried when she couldn’t find me._

Does that means something else or she’s just being a good friend?

_Fact #2: She saw me with Archie._

How am I supposed to explain that?

_Fact #3: She is hurt because I left her alone, when were supposed to spend the day together._

I don’t know if that was selfish, I was protecting myself. I couldn’t deal seeing her look at Jughead with those puppy heart eyes, the ones that I wish she looked at me with.

Was I a bad friend?

_Fact #4: I’m really good overthinking._

To be honest, I don’t know what to say.

“Wow, those are a lot of questions, you Nancy Drew” I chuckle and she does too “Well, I just arrived home and yes, I’m okay.” That last part was really hard to say. “Yes, I saw you texts. Well, the thing is that there I was, waiting to buy popcorn at the Carnival and I receive a text from Archiekins. He was asking me if I was busy, that he needed someone to talk with and I called him, you know, trying to be a good friend. He sounded really bad, Betty. He was at home, so I told him I was going to his house then I was looking for you and I couldn’t find you and I was so worried about Arch that I forgot to text you to tell you that I was leaving, I’m sorry, but when I arrived Archie’s home, I’m telling you, he looked awful. He’s been dealing with his parent’s divorce and it has really affected him. I spend the night with him, after all I didn’t want to leave drunk _and_ alone. Trying to make things better, I invited him to have breakfast at Pop’s.”

There’s a long silence, all I hear is B’s breath and it is not helping. I’ve never lied to Betty and I don’t know if she’s going to believe me, I feel terrible. There’s a lump in my throat.

What if she finds out that I’m lying and gets mad at me?

I’m overthinking about what’s going to happen next, and then I hear a quiet “Okay.” I let go a breath I didn’t know I was holding, it’s kind of releasing.

“So is Archie better? I probably should go to check on him.” She says

“Yeah, he’s much better now, I just hope he understands that this is not his fault, people get divorced all the time and is probably for better.” I tell her, with a voice absent of emotion.  Even though I’m going to have to tell Archie about this, I need his help with all these lies.

“Okay, so I guess I’ll see you tomorrow at school, at least you want to hang out today or do something else?” Her voice is suddenly full of hope I don’t know why.

How do I say that I don’t want to without hurting her but also protecting myself and my feelings?

“I’ll really love to, B. But I really can’t, not today.” I try to sound apologetic and not interested, even though all I want to do right now is tell her that Yes, that I would spend the rest of my life with her, that I want to see her face everyday when she wakes up, that I want to take care of her, love her and make her happy.

_No, you can’t do that Veronica. You’re going to ruin the only good thing in your life right now, your friendship with the most wonderful human being, this girl, Betty girl-next-door pastel colored Cooper. Who also has a lot flaws, like everyone, but you don’t care about that, you don’t care about her dark side, her mental illness, you love her the way she is and you want to help her get better and make her happy._

“Oh, well. Never mind, it’s okay. I have things to do with Jughead for The Blue and Gold anyways.”

_Jughead._

The lump on my throat grows and makes it hard and painful to swallow.

So, what am I supposed to say now that I know that Betty Cooper AKA The girl of my dreams, the one that makes sigh and cry and smile, is going to spend her time, that she could be spending with me, with that stupid wannabe shitty writer hat wearing boy with a black hole as stomach? How am I supposed to feel? Certainly, _not okay_. _At all._

There are tears that start forming in my eyes, threatening to fall.

I swallow hard and say “Okay, see you” My voice is not even louder than a whisper. I press the red button and end the call.

I feel numb, disoriented, empty.

I don’t know what to do.

I’ve never felt like this. Back in New York I used to be the one that made people feel like this, I was the #1 Heartbreaker, I know it’s not something to be proud about but I did it to be safe, to protect myself. I never had a real relationship, the closest I had to a relationship where one night stands, I had someone different every single night. I was deadly afraid to let someone be close to my heart because I knew that no one had real and genuine feelings and all they wanted was something from me, something from the little Hiram Lodge’s daughter, The ice queen.

Until I met her.

Elizabeth Cooper.

The blondie, the all-American ordinary girl next door out of Disney movie, the A+ student, the cheerleader, the girl that has vanilla milkshakes and keeps a diary, the girl that has a pink room and only wears pastel. She made me feel the _need_ to be around her; after all she’s all I’ll never be: sweet, strong, kind-hearted, smart, beautiful-minded, humble and so much more.

We’re completely different; I don’t get how we fit in.

Of course she would never think about me as more than friend.

I get up, pick up my stuff and go to bathroom; I still have to take a shower. I start taking my clothes off and look myself on the mirror, only then  I realize that I’m crying. I stand there for a couple of minutes, starring at my reflection. My eyes are red and puffy and my cheeks are wet with tears.

In moments like this is when I wish I was back in New York, that Daddy hadn’t be arrested, that mom and I didn’t have to come to Riverdale.

I blame Daddy for this. If he hadn’t been arrested we wouldn’t had to come to Riverdale and I would’ve never met her. I’m totally aware that is not his fault that I fell in love with her, but right now I need someone to blame; maybe if I’m angry I won’t be so sad.

I decide that a shower won’t be enough; maybe a bath will make me feel better. I take my bathrobe and wait for the bathtub to fill with warm water. Is full now, so I let the bathrobe fall to the floor and get in.

I’m there just staring at the ceiling and then I’m sobbing, full body shaking. I hate crying like this, sometimes is releasing but other times it just makes you feel numb and tired, that’s how I feel right now. I submerge my whole body on the water, including my face and start screaming. I do it until my throat is burning and I have to get some air.

I cover my face with my hands and keep crying. I don’t how much time I’ve been here but it feels like it’s been forever.  The crying decreases slowly until I’m just there seated on the bathtub with my arms around my legs, hugging myself.

My chest hurts, my head hurts, my whole body hurts. It hurts, but in some strange way I feel nothing at the same time. I guess this is how you feel when your heart breaks.

It feels awful, unbearable.

Maybe all of this is karma, I’ve done horrible things after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.
> 
> Any kind of feedback is deeply appreciated.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica is left alone crying, locked on her room; She and her parents definitely aren't on their best moment; Veronica overthinks a lot; Kevin is the best friend and takes her to a bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi.
> 
> Well, I feel especially bad about this chapter. I don't know, I just didn't like it. I haven't been inspired and I feel like I wrote this just to finish the fic, I mean, I did like writing it I just didn't like the results, It happens like almost every time, but the feeling is stronger with this chapter. I'm sorry I suck writing.

I hear the ringtone at least five times before he picks it up.

“Hello?” He sounds kind of surprised, like if he really wasn’t expecting the call and like if he didn’t have _my_ number on his phone with _my_ name on it.

“Goddamn it, Archie. Why the hell don’t you answer your phone? I really can not understand how this generation is all the time with their fucking faces stocked on their phones and they seem to be incapable of answering a call. _Unbelievable._ ”

“Wow, who peed in your Cheerio’s?” He chuckles and the fact that he’s laughing at me, right now, just makes me angrier.

“Okay, so first of all, what you just said has no sense at all because I didn’t have Cheerio’s, you know it! _You_ paid my breakfast!” I think I’m talking so fast that Archie probably won’t understand what I’m saying. I let out a groan “Second, how can you be laughing right now?” Now, more than angry or irritated, I’m frustrated and anxious and scared “Have you seen Betty today? Or have you talked to her?” I want to cry, I’m so stressed.

Am I really going to cry again? I think I’ve never cried this much in one day.

“Hey Ronnie, _breath_. Calm down, okay?” He sounds pretty serious now and I appreciate it, that he’s taking this serious.

I obey, I inhale and exhale repeated times.

“Okay, better.” He speaks really soft and slowly, like if he was talking to a hurt and scared animal; and to be honest, I think that’s a really good description of how I’m feeling right now. “No, I haven’t seen of talked to Betty today, why? Did something happen?”

He’s asking me if something happened.

Well, _yes._ A lot of things happened.

My voice is unsteady, trembling.  “I mean,” I let out a very long sigh “Yes? I don’t know. Betty called me after I arrived home and I had a lot of missed calls and unread messages from her and she saw us this morning leaving your house and she asked me why I left her yesterday at the carnival and why I didn’t tell her that I was at your house and if something happened and well…” I say all this so fast that I don’t even take a breath until I finish. 

God, just now I realize what I did; now Archie is in this mess too.

“Ronnie? What happened?” His voice is cautious.

“Oh my God Archie, I really don’t know how to tell you this, so I’ll just drop the bomb” I sigh, again “I told Betty I spend the night with you because you were sad thanks to your parent’s divorce, I’m so sorry Archie. It wasn’t my intention to drag you into this, at all.”

“Well,” His voice is pretty neutral; I don’t know if that’s good “I’m definitely not going to thank you for that, but its fine. I was going to tell her about that anyways”

At least he’s not mad, thank God.

“Well, now that you know-”

I get interrupted “You want me to help you, right? With Betty. I’ll do it” He says, like if he was expecting my request. “If she asks, I’ll tell her that I asked you to come to my house”

“Well Archiekins, you aren’t has blind and oblivious as everyone thinks” He chuckles and I wish I could laugh too “Yes, it would be really lovely of you, thanks”

“Do you need something else?” He asks me, in all Archie fashion, always wanting to help.

“Certainly, not from you, you already did enough for me. But thanks for asking.”

“You sure? Maybe a shoulder you can cry on?” He asks, sounding especially worried.

I laugh humorlessly “Again? I’m very sure that if you squeeze your sheets or your shirt it will pour out my tears.” I state, he lets out a little laugh.

“Okay, bye then.”

“Goodbye Archie. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” I hung up.

 

* * *

 

My father’s voice gets me out of my thoughts; I was just there, staring at this sad, numb and tired version of myself on the mirror at my vanity.

“Veronica, darling” He enters to my bedroom “Is everything alright?” He sounds actually worried.

Is sad, the fact that he’s here right now, just being a normal parent worrying about his daughter’s wellbeing, and in a couple of minutes he’s probably going to be at his office doing “ _business”,_ as he likes to call them.

I stare at him, with this thought in my head, for a couple of seconds and say “Yes, _daddy_. Everything is alright.” I just hope he gets the sarcasm. Well, not really; that’ll mean he’ll want to talk and right now I can’t even stand looking at him.

He sighs and it sounds tired.

 _So he got it,_ I think.

But he doesn’t say anything else, he just closes the door and leaves.

I suppose it's better that way.

I decide that I can’t spend the rest of the weekend just hiding in my room, crying and staring at the ceiling, due to the fact that that’s literally all I’ve done since I arrived.

 In that same order.

Repeated times.

I just want to keep moving, keep doing something so I don’t have time to think; I really believe that overthinking might be death of me, so I just start organizing my closet. I do it for colors, then I start with my shoes and finally with my jewelry and all of my accessories.

I try to read something, even when I know that I’ve already read all the books that I own, several times.

_I just want to keep her out of my mind._

I try, I really do, but I can’t get that sweet smile, those bright shining eyes or those blonde locks that smell like fresh flowers out of my head.

They say that what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. I’m not so sure right now, but I _really_ hope it does.

I’m brushing my hair, almost ready to go to bed when my phone rings; Gay best it reads.

“Kevin, darling. What can I do for you?” He hasn’t even answer and I already have a smile in my face. God, Kevin is the best.

“ _Actually, I_ am going to do something for _you_. _”_ He sounds like he already has everything planned, which he probably does.

“ _Really?_ ” I say, “And what is Kurt Hummel going to do now?” just to provoke him.

“Okay, _yes_ and no girl” He’s kind of hysterical, pretending to be offended “I mean, _yes_ , we’re pretty alike but it’s not fair that he’s the only like really known gay guy of the pop culture. He’s also sort of a cliché, but to be fair Glee aired some years ago so I could say that I _kind of_ understand it. And he-” He’s so invested on his own thoughts that at some point I actually think that he forgot why he was calling on that first place, so I interrupt him

I clear my throat, “Please forgive me for interrupting your vivid and not at all out of place speech of Kurt, but I understand that you were calling me for another reason, so _please_. Let’s get to the point.” And say with a bit of sassiness that surprises me that I can get out me at this moment.

“Oh my Gosh, yes you’re right. Well, I was just thinking that we could have a little of a gay bar night, it might not be good enough for your standards but we both know that, _sadly,_ Riverdale’s nightlife is tragic and I know that you probably don’t have nothing better to do, _so_ ” He says “Would you like to accompany me?” He asks. The sound of his voice is telling me that he really wants me to go with him and he’s right, I don’t have anything better to do so, you know what? _Screw it._ I’m going to take some time for myself; I’m not going to stay here locked and depressed.

“Yes, Kevin” I say, excited and little bit cheerful “I _really_ need a fun night.”

“Okay girl, get dressed, put on something fabulous and hot, just like every single article of clothing that you own” He tries to hide that with a fake cough, and it makes me chuckle “and I’ll be at your door in fifteen minutes.” He says with a joyful voice. I repeat, Kevin is the best.

“Okay, see you” I end the call and start selecting my outfit.

It needs to be something scandalous, something that screams party girl, something that will make everyone turn their heads and stare at me; I need some kind of attention. I try to ignore the thought that this is the old Veronica -trying to take control again-, always surrounded by fake people, with fake smiles, fake feelings and hidden intentions; I don’t want to be that girl again and I’m not going to, I made a promise.

But I suppose I can get a little bit loose just for tonight.

 _This is just for tonight,_ I tell myself so I can finish getting dressed and not regret the choice that I made.

There’s other thought at the back of my head: If I can’t get Betty’s attention, I’ll get everybody else’s attention tonight.

 _Just like the old Veronica used to do_.

I laugh humorlessly, because that is really miserable.

I’m applying my signature maroon lipstick when, out of the blue, a tear slips out of my eye to my cheek and reaches my jaw. I sob and wipe the tear away.

I correct: _I am_ miserable.

I’m thinking that I desperately need a drink when Andre knocks at my door to announce that Kevin is here.

“Thank you, Andre. Please tell him I’ll be downstairs in a second”

“Alright, Miss Lodge.” He says, his voice showing no emotion.

I give a last look to the mirror, to check myself. I get my coat and leave my room.

I’m going downstairs when I hear voices in the living room. Kevin is talking with my mom, he’s probably complementing her shoes or her hairstyle.

She looks at me and I recognize the surprise in her eyes “Veronica” She stands up “Where are you going?” Now Kevin is also standing and staring at me.

“Oh, Mrs. Lodge I invited Veronica to come with me to the club. She told me she needed it” My mom is just staring at me, confused? Maybe she’s upset, I don’t know. After all we’re definitely not in our best moment, so I don’t say anything either. Kevin notices the tension and the uncomfortable silence “If that’s okay with you, of course…”

She breaks eye contact with me and turns to look at Kevin “Of course it’s okay, Kevin. Just take care of her” She says with a worried-but-cool-mom smile.

“Totally, you don’t need to be worried at all Mrs. Lodge” He answers, with a grin. He looks at me and proud smile appears on his face. He makes me smile.

“Thanks mom” I say, being actually thankful. Thankful that she let me go and thankful that she didn’t ask anything, I know she wanted to.

She looks surprised; I guess she wasn’t expecting that I talked to her. “It’s okay, Mija. Have fun”

“C’mon Kevin, let’s go” I say.

He says goodbye to my mom and comes and loops our arms together. He looks at me with a smile that says _We’re going to have an awesome night._ He better be right.

We head to his father’s truck “So, Who else is coming to our gay bar night?” I ask.

“I wanted it to be more private, nothing too big or scandalous, so I just invited Betty and you” He answers, calmly.

The little intent of a smile that I had disappears.

_Betty._

_Betty is coming with us._

There’s a lot happening in my head, a bunch of questions and emotions.

Betty is going to a bar? A gay bar?

Alice let her go? Well, she’s probably going to escape or something.

There is one part of me that is genuinely happy because I’ll be wit Betty, _at a gay bar for God’s sake._

But the rational, hurt and selfish part of me is so scared and frustrated because _I’ll see Betty,_ the girl who broke my heart a million times without even knowing.

“We’re actually going to pick her up now. She’s been really down lately I don’t know why, she needed this just like you”

_So she needed this._

_She’s been down? Why? What happened to her?_

And now there’s other part of me, the one that just cares, appreciates, cherish and wants her to be happy no matter what, no matter if she’s with me or with someone else. That part, is worried about her. 

He notices that something changed “Is everything alright?” He asks

There’s a battle inside my mind, it is parted in two; _actually three_.

Funny, they could be like the little angel and devil that you see in cartoons when a character doesn’t know what to do or what to say in a compromising or difficult situation, if it should do the right thing or the better for itself.

I don’t know either.

I think that it will be a weird and twisted mix of the three.

“Veronica?” I hear Kevin.

We’re standing in front of his father’s truck, literally just standing.

“Earth calling Veronica” He waves at me.

I, quite literally, shake my head to get rid of all the thoughts on my mind and look at him. “Yes,” I say, with a not so fake smile, but also not a truly happy one “I just didn’t know Betty was allowed to have fun at all” _Keep it natural, Veronica._

“Yeah,” He makes a sound between a chuckle and a sigh “You wouldn’t be the first one to think that. Well, it’s not Betty’s fault” He opens the passenger door for me “With a mother like hers.” he whispers it more than saying it.

 I laugh, because it is true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please please please leave comments, it helps me a lot.


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